This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bondingš
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT āTHE SLAMHOG!ā
I DONāT WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named āSlam Hogā not āThe Slamhog.ā Second, itās top of the line. Third, donāt dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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