Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
