i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
