The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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