They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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