...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
