Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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