Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
