I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
i think my cat just said my name.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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