Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
