This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
