is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
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