He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I pour the whiskey from now on
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize