yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
