So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
