i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
