Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
it glows. i had to have it.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
