Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
