Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Randomize
