She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
