i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
