I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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