I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Randomize
