just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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