I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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