so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
