How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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