All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
