having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Randomize
