Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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