Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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