I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
