Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
