I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
