Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
