dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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