when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
