I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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