TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
