I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize