if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Randomize
