Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Just invented taco cereal.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
