i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
4 words: hood of his car
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
