ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
