recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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