I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
My vagina is officially offended.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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