i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
