Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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