we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
