I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
No I am not eating basil off your cock
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize