This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
