I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
