Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
