Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
