I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
