He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
