I molested 6 butterflies tonight
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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