So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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