smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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