Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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