i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
We left the knife in your bed.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
